Prompt: The Accidental (?) Boob Grab

Prompt: Tell us about a time someone accidentally grabbed your boobs.

giphy (10)

Okay. So there I was, walking down Bay Street, heading back to work after lunch. I was late, of course, because I had to pause to visit the LCBO on my way back. I was rushing like Usain Bolt to get back to my desk before my boss decides she prefers my desk to be empty, which caused me to dart in between the slowpokes. In front of me, a man was talking with a lady. They were so engrossed with their conversation that they were not in any hurry to get anywhere and clearly were in my way.

I rudely darted in front of the man so I could pass them at the light. The light was red. As I took a step forward, he took a step forward. Our bodies collided. Instinctively, his hand went up to pat my shoulder as he apologized. Accidentally, his hand landed riiiiight on my boob.

It was not a soft graze. It was a full on, palm flat against my breast. But it was totally accidental. Which is what made it so hilarious. Especially the look of horror on his face as he realized what he did.

The light turned green and I bolted forward. Both humiliated and amused.

 

Na Na Na Na Na Na Train

Does anyone remember the TV show Train 48? I absolutely loved this show back in around 2003, and now that I look at that wiki page, I’m actually shocked it went on until 2005! I thought it was only on for a year…

The basic format of the show was a bunch of commuters meet on their daily train home. It was filmed every day on that day so they would talk about topical news/pop culture things, as well as carrying on characterization and plot points. It was quite interesting at the time, just because it broke a lot of conventions and it was just addicting to come home and sit down and watch these characters who oddly started to feel like friends.

cast_train48

I just recently remembered back to this show because I’ve started taking the GO Train home, where this show was set.

Basically while every normal person out there is Netflix Marathoning Game of Thrones, I’m sitting here lamenting the fact that I can’t find this show online ANYWHERE!

The only thing on Youtube is this clip:

Which has all 3 of my favourite characters.

And this was the awesome theme song:

Come on, cruel and unfair world…get me this show!! I would actually pay money for it, too!

Nostalgia is a tricky thing though. What if I watch it and it’s not as awesome as I remembered it to be?

Sidewalk Sale

Hide yo’ purses, hide yo’ wallets…it’s that time of year again. The PATH sidewalk sales!

It’s the worst. It’s impossible to avoid, because it’s too cold to walk outside. The only way to get from my workplace to the subway is to navigate through throngs of people who walk too slow, suits who talk too loud, and tables crowded with things 50% off.

I need to wear blinders, need to shield myself from the mountains of shoes, scented lotions, bins of bling, and the NEON GREEN SHOES.

DID YOU SAY NEON GREEN SHOES?

YES. OMG.

FML. I caved.

They’re mine.

Screen Shot 2016-01-19 at 11.15.51 PM

Let’s all hope I’m still employed by the spring…

An Open Letter to the TTC

Dear TTC*,

Happy New Year to you too. What’s that, you got me a present to celebrate the dawn of 2016? Awwww that’s so sweet of you, you shouldn’t have. Let me take a second to guess what it is. Could it be a bottle of Moët & Chandon Dom Perignon Charles & Diana 1961?

Oh right. This is Toronto we’re talking about.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything, but I’d like to return this “gift” of yours to me, a goddamn motherfucking fare hike.

Yes, I know, it’s only an extra quarter. But suddenly one day you find yourself standing in front of Union Station in the cold with 3 dollars in your pocket and no quarter. Suddenly you break out in a sweat because you find yourself begging strangers for one extra quarter.

(By you, I mean me. And yes, that actually happened. Thanks to the random lady who smiled at me sympathetically and gave me two quarters, thinking I was homeless.)

Okay, Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh. You did, after all, introduce early Sunday service.

To which my first reaction was: WTF? The subway never opened on Sundays until 9 a.m.? Are you freaking kidding me??? What about all those people who actually need to be somewhere on a Sunday morning? (Not me, of course. My Sundays are usually spent hungover.)

Since I know you so well, of course I wasn’t shocked that you left people standing in the cold outside of locked stations until about 8:15 a.m.

What’s that sound? That’s me, laughing and crying at the same time. And digging into the depths of my piggy bank for extra quarters.

I am hereby putting you on notice, TTC. If this fare hike doesn’t help you get your shit together, I’m going to get my shit together and get my driver’s licence.

giphy (2)

Yeah, who am I kidding? Take my money, TTC. Just take it.

Warmest Regards,

Zoriana

*(For those who don’t hail from The Six, TTC stands for Toronto Transit Commission**)

**(It also stands for Take The Car)