Welcome to Mercury Retrograde!

Ever notice that four times in a year, all communications go haywire? The subway stops running (moreso than usual), you accidentally reply-all saying YAS to afterwork drinks, or your date tells you he wants to see you again but you interpret it to mean he doesn’t want to see you again, and then months later he says you ghosted him when you thought it was his fault?

Well, my friends, that is called Mercury Retrograde. It’s when four times a year for several weeks, mercury, the mighty ruler of communication, travel and electronics, appears to be traveling backwards in the sky. And it is not friendly.

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Me, during mercury retrograde

The final mercury retrograde of 2017 runs from December 3rd to 23rd. Perfect! Let’s end this already shitty year with a disastrous bang.

It’s already hit me so far. On Thursday night, I was driving my brand new 2017 Chevy Cruze when something popped up on my display.

“Why is my car telling me to check my oil when I literally just changed my oil?” I asked.

My friend leaned over. “Oh, no.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “That’s the Check Engine light. That’s not good.”

My heart sank. I literally bought a new car in May for the sole reason to avoid the dreaded reoccurring Check Engine light that kept popping up on my 1992 Dodge Colt. This was supposed to mean no more problems. So how can I be six months into owning a new car, and already be having an issue with it?

So, the next day, I ditched out of work and brought it to the dealer. Which is the worst, since the dealer has the same coffee machine as we have at work, so the coffee tastes like being at work.

I was ready to yell and scream about how my brand new car should not be having problems. But they were really friendly, and they fixed it.

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Life would be better if dogs were mechanics

Now I’m still worried that I may have bought a lemon, and that I’m probably going to be screwed after the warranty is up. Hopefully this was just a manufacturing defect that was caught early, and it will be smooth sailing from here.

This is just the start of Mercury Retrograde….let’s hope nothing else wild happens.

Stay safe out there and make sure you double-check any emails you write!