I still don’t understand half of what they’re saying

I read this article today about Renee Zellwegger watching Eastenders to perfect her accent for her Bridget Jones role.

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LOVE IT. In my latest novel, one of my characters is a Polish dude who watches Eastenders to learn how to speak English.

Me and this show have a bit of history. I once worked at a TV station here in Canada that broadcasts this show. My job was to watch all the week’s episodes and write a gossip type column about the week’s events. Yes. I was paid to watch Eastenders. Let that sink in for a minute. Best job ever, right?

Anyways, I haven’t watched it since. But after reading this article, I realized I need to start watching Eastenders again. Why? Because parts of my novel take place in London, and my British dialogue was falling flat.

OH MY GOD. I’ve missed this show.

I think I’m enjoying my research a LITTLE bit too much!



Prompt: The Accidental (?) Boob Grab

Prompt: Tell us about a time someone accidentally grabbed your boobs.

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Okay. So there I was, walking down Bay Street, heading back to work after lunch. I was late, of course, because I had to pause to visit the LCBO on my way back. I was rushing like Usain Bolt to get back to my desk before my boss decides she prefers my desk to be empty, which caused me to dart in between the slowpokes. In front of me, a man was talking with a lady. They were so engrossed with their conversation that they were not in any hurry to get anywhere and clearly were in my way.

I rudely darted in front of the man so I could pass them at the light. The light was red. As I took a step forward, he took a step forward. Our bodies collided. Instinctively, his hand went up to pat my shoulder as he apologized. Accidentally, his hand landed riiiiight on my boob.

It was not a soft graze. It was a full on, palm flat against my breast. But it was totally accidental. Which is what made it so hilarious. Especially the look of horror on his face as he realized what he did.

The light turned green and I bolted forward. Both humiliated and amused.


Na Na Na Na Na Na Train – Part 2

Remember when I wrote this post about my desire to watch this obscure TV show from 2003 called Train 48?

One of my BFFs who is a yoga instructor is always telling me that if you put a thought into the world, it will come true. I’m always like, yeah, whatever, Namaste blah blah blah.

But then this happened: TRAIN 48 YOUTUBE CHANNEL!

This person is actually updating the entire series, one by one.

And I am watching them. One by one.

Next please – can someone please upload Traders?

OMG! Someone already has!


Aimless — The Daily Post

Dating is hard. Filling out a dating profile is harder.

The blank text box taunts me. It also reflects me: blank.

Tell us about yourself. Hobbies, interests, activities.

The struggle is real. Who has time for hobbies? When I come home after the daily grind of work, I’m too tired to do anything. I pull shut the curtains, turn on Netflix, and lose myself in endless hours of contrived programming until I drift asleep. During the day I browse all the recipes on Tasty that look so easy to make, and I tell myself that this is it, this is the day I make myself an impressive One-Pot Chicken Fajita Pasta, or maybe give myself a little kick with some Buffalo Fried Calamari, and one day, my Instagram feed with definitely be drooling over my Cincinnati Chili Spaghetti.

But not tonight.

Tonight I’m doing this, filling out this dating profile that I only bought a membership for because it was half-priced on Groupon. Prompted by my bestie, who would get a double discount if she bought it along with my friend, I couldn’t say no. I need to get back into the dating game, I told myself. What happened with Justin was an isolated incident. It will never happen again. Not all men are like that. There has to be one man out there for me, someone who will click with me.

The prompts taunt me. Tell us about yourself. What are your dreams and aspirations?

My dreams and aspirations?

I type my response into the text field.

Aimless. I am aimless. If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be aimless. I have no direction. No hopes and aspirations. I did, once upon a time, but they got crushed. Now I wake up every morning and toil away at a job I hate, to pay for a condo I hate, and I’m trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle, with no exit to take to get out.

I re-read what I just wrote, and then delete it all. No, that’s not right. I’m not completely aimless.

I’m looking for someone. And something.

And I’ll never stop searching until I find my direction.



Why Do I Write?

It’s one of the simplest questions people ask writers: Why do you write?

It’s the same reason why I read: to escape.

I’m one of those people who can’t stop thinking. My mind never shuts off. I’m always thinking what if I did this different? Why did I do that yesterday? What if I said this instead of that? Etc., it never ends.


But once I’m reading or writing, it gives my mind something else to focus on. Someone else to obsess about. I just recently finished reading a book called Wreck and Order, and all I could think throughout it was whew, thank god there is someone out there who has a worse life than I do. If reading for one hour takes my mind off of how crappy my day was, even for 40 minutes during my commute home, then it’s worth it.

And that’s how it is with writing. When I start to zone out and my mind starts it’s endless parade of troubled thoughts, it helps me to create characters in my head whose lives are worse than mine, and it’s therapeutic to think what if? over and over about their lives, instead of mine.

And nothing beats opening up my Word document and spending time alone with my characters, who become like my friends.

That’s why, even if nobody ever reads anything I ever write, I will still continue writing.

I write because I need to.


Na Na Na Na Na Na Train

Does anyone remember the TV show Train 48? I absolutely loved this show back in around 2003, and now that I look at that wiki page, I’m actually shocked it went on until 2005! I thought it was only on for a year…

The basic format of the show was a bunch of commuters meet on their daily train home. It was filmed every day on that day so they would talk about topical news/pop culture things, as well as carrying on characterization and plot points. It was quite interesting at the time, just because it broke a lot of conventions and it was just addicting to come home and sit down and watch these characters who oddly started to feel like friends.


I just recently remembered back to this show because I’ve started taking the GO Train home, where this show was set.

Basically while every normal person out there is Netflix Marathoning Game of Thrones, I’m sitting here lamenting the fact that I can’t find this show online ANYWHERE!

The only thing on Youtube is this clip:

Which has all 3 of my favourite characters.

And this was the awesome theme song:

Come on, cruel and unfair world…get me this show!! I would actually pay money for it, too!

Nostalgia is a tricky thing though. What if I watch it and it’s not as awesome as I remembered it to be?

Job Interview Nightmare #76

This job interview was the worst. And I’ve had a lot of bad ones.


The job posting I applied to was for a start-up looking for a content editor. Writing deals for the website and publishing content? Awesome, that sounded like something I could do! My confidence was at an all-time high as I left the door.

I hadn’t had a job interview in awhile, so the professional black blazer I wore was a bit snug as I buttoned it up. But, oh well, it would do.

I sat down with the CEO and the Content Manager. Right away, they ask how my CSS, Java and PHP skills are, along with another list of random acronyms I’ve never dealt with in my entire life.

“I thought this was for a content writing job?” My voice squeaked. None of that was in the job posting. If it had been, I wouldn’t have applied. And if I had those skills, they would have been in my resume. Did nobody look at my resume?

“Sorry, we are looking for these particular qualifications,” the CEO said. “You are probably not the right fit.”

I stood, stunned, and gathered my untouched writing portfolio from the table. Just as I leaned forward, my stomach expanded slightly, and the button on my blazer popped off.

Like, it literally popped off. Flew up in the air, landed on the table, bounced, hit the floor, and rolled into the corner.

Everyone stared at the button, watching it. Horrified, my face flushed, I shook hands, thanked them for their time, and ran out of the room without collecting my button. Maybe if I didn’t acknowledge that it happened, it hadn’t happened.

Two days later I got a call from the Content Manager. “We found someone for the content editor position you interviewed for, but another writing job has opened up at another app we are working on. We would like to offer you the job.”

I think they felt sorry for me. I took the job.

I wanted to get my button back.




Book Review – Not Working by Lisa Owens

Not Working by Lisa Owens

Why I Picked It Up

Well, let’s face it. Everyone dreams of quitting the 9-5 and having the chance to “find themselves”. Sorry to my boss, but I don’t spend most of my days sitting at this desk because it’s my passion, I’m here because I need the money. Needless to say, I could relate very well to Claire’s extensive ennui.



The vignette format was very refreshing. It was light and easy to pick it up and return to. Also was very fitting to show how she jumps from one idea to the next, with no real direction in life. Some of the really short, self-reflective vignettes actually made me laugh out loud while reading on the subway – that is always a plus with any book. I was able to sympathize with her crushing comparisons to other people, and her struggle to find meaning in life.


Not gonna lie, the one thing that had me hanging on ’till the end was to see what she discovers about her life purpose. She didn’t really find one, after all that? Well, that’s depressing. I guess there’s no hope for me, then?

Emoji rating: 😞💻🖨😕👠🍷🍷🍷🍷🙈😭🍷



The Sick Room

Today’s writing location:

The sick room at my workplace.

(Kinda sketch, right?)

Since I’m suffering from a cold, I was too tired to walk anywhere but I didn’t want to stay at my desk during my lunch break. So I decided to try the sickroom.

Verdict: it was kinda weird. I was torn between lying down and sleeping, and being grossed out by that bedsheet. 

Pros: Quiet. Dark space. Private. Comfortable.

Cons: Too quiet. Too dark. Too private. Too comfortable.

I did get some good writing done, though.

Would I return again?